Tuesday 6 August 2019

Where Have I Been?

Hey lovelies!

You know what, I just needed a break. Admittedly it was an unintentional break but I had to figure my life out and things were changing for me after what I would describe as a very rough period of my life. I felt like I was drowning in "problems" and for a long time too; I was getting restless with all the negativity I faced.

This is no pity story, this is just my truth and not in a YouTube drama kind of way. Without getting into too much detail, the last year of my life consisted of too much time I would say...too much time to think and even more time to overthink and truthfully, too much time without something that made me feel as if I had a purpose.

This July marked 1 year since I graduated from university and I actually felt accomplished in a way. For too long I had "stood still" to the point where things just felt stale. I was going nowhere, I had no ventures that made me feel super passionate, nothing that made me feel that I was worthy of doing it and that I would succeed. I would be jealous of other people's achievements and I looked bitter. I wanted something of my own, something that others around me had that gave them happiness and a purpose.

Don't get me wrong, I had so much support whilst I was going through this period of time, even though I may not have entirely deserved it and even though I was proud of others deep down, on the surface my aura was just...nope I want that for myself - how could I be like that, seriously? The phrases: "something will come along" and "you'll have your time" were circulated around me like wild fire and I got it. I understood it and I guess I believed it but I was so over the waiting game. I became so fragile to the point where I couldn't help but breakdown.

I am so lucky to have had people around me that loved me so much that they wouldn't give up on me even though it would've been so easy to, trust me! I am so grateful to be in a better place now and I might not be "fixed" but I am able to give more to others and have it come from a place that is more loving and real. I could apologise time and time again and I have but right now, I'm letting my actions speak for themselves and at this stage in my life they need to more than ever.

So long story short, the change in my life that took place through full time work and thereby having less time to overthink my brain and body into a negative place has led me to take an accidental yet crucial break from blogging and the world of social media, minus an Instagram/Twitter post here and there.

You may have missed me or you may not have noticed that I was gone but I am making my return however unstable and stressful it may seem at first. Stay tuned for the series that was inspired by this concept of needing a purpose and one of my new year goals...Blogging With A Purpose.


P.S. Feel free to let me know in the comment section down below if you have ever gone through anything like this. I want to hear your stories and your thoughts so let's chat!

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