Monday, 14 October 2019

Why My Blog Seems To Showcase More Beauty Than Fashion Lately...

Blogtober Day Ten
Hey lovelies!

This post is a big one to the extent that I could potentially be opening up a can of worms or maybe revealing something that other people can't see but nevertheless I feel it. I once saw this quote that said: "You are so used to your features, you don't know how beautiful you look to a stranger" and it got me thinking about how harsh we can be about ourselves and the way we look. I have spent years beating myself up about the fact that I have always been a little bigger than the girls I know or the other women I pass in the street and it always sticks at the back of my mind, bugging me every now and again.

You see I am a very observant person which can be great in crucial moments but when you're constantly observing other people and looking at what beautiful features they have and that you don't, it can be a little soul crushing to say the least. I try to do it less and less but when you're on the train and there's nothing else to do but people watch, there's hardly time to escape it!

Bringing your attention back to the original idea behind this post though, some of you may be looking at the title thinking: "maybe beauty is just your blogging area of expertise" but the truth is the reason why my blog seems to showcase more beauty than fashion lately is because I'm just not ready. I truly do not feel that I am in the best physical shape of my life and whilst I'm not asking to have a model figure so that I can feel comfortable creating fashion content, I am wanting to become healthier in order to see mental and physical results that I would be proud to show off.

Personally I don't believe that my body aspirations are linked to any societal norms because firstly I do not agree with them all, nor do I fit in with most of these traditional societal norms and nor do I want to in all honesty. I truly appreciate my body and what it has to offer but when I find myself wanting to shoot outfit photos or do anything fashion related, I end up having THOSE thoughts.

THOSE thoughts being the ones where you doubt your potential and the ones that leave you questioning all that you are - they can be so utterly detrimental to the point where they have the power to put me off from doing something that I could really enjoy! I think that it's fair to say that this feeling is very common in so many individuals and that's a sad fact of life because no one wants to feel less than they actually are. Most of all though, no one wants to feel as though they need to overcompensate or overshadow their "flaws" by showcasing one feature of theirs (e.g. their face) in photos in order to divert away from what they don't like about themself (e.g. their body) but then again, it's all about what you're comfortable with I guess.

Maybe in the near future I will be able to muster up the courage to create fashion content but in the meantime, I would love if you could let me know in the comment section down below if that is something that you would like to see from me! What do you prefer: wishlists or actual photos of me wearing the clothes rather than just photos of the items? Let's get chatting, I want to hear your thoughts! 


Friday, 11 October 2019

Why I'm Finally Proud Of Myself

Blogtober Day Nine
Hey lovelies!

You may have seen the above tweet recently and long story short, I'm just really proud of myself and how far I've come. I'm not one to boast, nor am I one to push my achievements in other people's faces. I keep myself to myself but when I put this tweet up, I just felt like I had to get it out there.

I know I said that there was no rhyme or reason as to why I was proud but the truth is, I have managed to take a step back to look at my life. I can see what I once was and I can see what I am now - bigger, better and stronger. I'm not perfect by any means but I'm finally getting more in tune with life and I'm pretty darn happy about it!

Let me know in the comment section down below if you've seen an improvement in yourself. Are you feeling happy and proud of who you've become? I want to know more about you!


Thursday, 10 October 2019

World Mental Health Day - My deepest thoughts, a mind unravelled...

Blogtober Day Eight
Hey lovelies!

Happy World Mental Health Day to all of you!

Today's post is a little simpler than the others in terms of its structure but its content is quite deep, raw and very vulnerable. I don't always like to delve into these feelings too much in such a public space because it can be a cruel world out there and there are plenty of harsh individuals who like to have their say and tell you how you should be feeling.

I wrote the below piece because I wanted to express how I felt during a time in my life where everything felt as though it was going wrong, completely and utterly wrong. I was lost, truly lost and although I have managed to find my way out of the deepest depths of my mind and soul, I know that I am still finding my way out and I always will be - we're always a constant work in progress, always changing and always learning.

I know it's cliche but if one of you reads this and can relate to what I have to say or if it helps one of you to know that things will get better then I can consider my job done. I love you all and I want to help with all my heart.

So please, take a read...

Silence. I need it now and again, just to figure out how this stickiness ends,
Sometimes it's with a hug from my love, other times it's not so fun,
A talking to and a bringing back down to earth chat does the trick, but even so it never ever chooses to stick,
My life splits into a million pieces and once upon a time there lay this perfect fit yet here I sit, on the floor shoving the pieces back together,
With tears in my eyes and a dent in my soul, everything feels so out of my control,
A nervous heart and an anxious mind is all it takes for me to unwind and yet I unravel into this utter mess and wind up one big ball of uncontrollable stress,
I apologise for the inconvenience I cause but after a moment I find myself pause,
I'm no longer in charge of my behaviour, you tell me to stop like I'm doing you a favour,
I can't help the way I am so help me God, I don't understand what I've done so wrong,
I turn on myself and shout back with anger, whilst my reflection looks back at me with such candour,
The person in the mirror is no use to me, it mimics every word that it ever did see,
A slow chipping away of me as a human, I want to get away so that I can move on,
I hold myself together with some old tape, until I feel so bent out of shape,
I barely hold on to reality, I don't remember what that used to be,
But with time I find the dust settles, and you're no longer in a bush of nettles,
You build up who you used to be, something you once knew as 'happy',
Don't give up because it does get better, get back what was yours like a debt collector,
The silence becomes that less bit scary, and the darkness affects you what I know as 'rarely'.


Wednesday, 9 October 2019

Autumn Goals 2019

Blogtober Day Seven
Hey lovelies!

So there may be a reason why we now call those  good old fashioned resolutions, "goals" and I believe that it stems from the idea that coming up with resolutions to become these super human beings just adds way too much pressure on us.

The notion of what a goal is however can be viewed as being much more reasonable because they end up being smallet tasks that are usually more managemable, as it is usually something way more managable, completely attainable and  most of all, way less stressful.

This season I don't want to set myself any silly objectives or apply pressure on myself to HAVE to DO something or BE something but rather, just to enjoy the fun and happiness that will manifest itself over the next few weeks!

So without further ado, here are my Autumn Goals...

1. Live more in the moment and enjoy the happiness you feel!
2. Learn how to do 5 things in cooking/baking
3. Spend at least one day/morning/night out with every person I love in my life
4. Do 5 things every week that allow me to look after myself
5. Spend a whole week planning and doing fun things, however big or small
6. Watch two documentaries and learn something new
7. Do something for charity whether that's donating money or taking part in an event
8. Be selfless and help out wherever I can
9. Make it through an entire inspirational or influential podcast
10. Start talking positively about myself instead of putting myself down!

There we have it! Let me know in the comment section down below if you're setting yourself some goals this season to make sure you make the most of every single second!


Tuesday, 8 October 2019

Physically Meeting An Inspiration

Blogtober Day Six
Hey lovelies!

So if you've been around since last Blogtober then you'll know that I created a post called Virtually Meeting An Inspiration where I talked about having the opportunity to have an online friendship with someone that you admire and look up to when it comes to your mindset, style and just general overall attitude.

This Blogtober, I am so happy to say that the constant virtual meeting I had with Casee Brimblecombe via Instagram ended up turning into a physical meeting...that's right, I met the doll that is Casee Brimblecombe herself and I couldn't have had a better time!

To begin the story, it was a warm yet slightly windy day in June and I was heading to Tower Bridge to meet both herself and the lovely Brandon (her then boyfriend, now fiance and soon to be husband) and to say I was nervous is a slight understatement as I'm sure that many others in this situation would also have gone through the usual: "what if they don't like me in person? What if they don't find me as funny? What if they hate me? Do I look okay?" - amongst many other annoying thoughts and irrational questions.

Our mini London date had been postponed by a day the first time round but it was definitely worth the wait. I mean I can try to describe to you what the whole experience was like detail for detail but that would come across WAY too fangirl for my liking so I'll stick to the basics hahaha!

One thing that I remember super clearly from that day is walking out to the outdoor seating area and just seeing this absolutely gorgeous girl, sitting there bathing in the golden hour sunlight, skin glowing and blonde hair perfectly waved and I just thought "WOW."

Honestly though, I find it so ridiculous and so unfair that someone can look THAT good when they've been walking around London for most of the day, sight-seeing, getting hot and bothered but still look like a freaking GODDESS! I've asked her to teach me her ways on many occasions and I'm still waiting haha!

The whole experience was beyond incredible. The three of us sat there and talked for about 2.5-3 hours, never getting bored but just enjoying the company and talking about all things British and Aussie...I'm still scarred by Brandon's description of the Australian spiders and his hilarious interpretation of the British phrase "You alright?" 😂

If there's a few things that I could say to Casee I would start off with a HUGE thank you for making such a cute dream of mine a reality. I left the restaurant/bar feeling so incredibly special, happy and content and not because I had met THE Casee Brimblecombe but more so because she has this power of making you feel so good about yourself even when you tell her over and over again how much better she looks in photos compared to you!

The girl has a body that many would envy and a personality that proves to be highly contagious and yet it's her authentic self that I end up being drawn to. Admittedly it is so weird being able to talk to her about things I see in her videos and know things about her that only her best friends should probably know but it's her honesty and her realness that made meeting her in person so amazing. Fingers crossed she comes back to London again very, very soon and this time I'll pay for your drinks!


Let me know in the comment section down below if you've met your favourite YouTuber, blogger, actor, actress or whoever it may be in person! Was it an incredible experience or were you left disappointed? I want to know!


Monday, 7 October 2019

That Blogtober Charm - NYX Vivid Brights Liner & Maybelline Superstay Matte Ink Crayon

Blogtober Day Five
Hey lovelies!

Hopefully this Blogtober numbering isn't too confusing for you - I'm numbering each day according to which number post it will be rather than by date. If you haven't read my first Blogtober post then I highly suggest you do so that things make more sense for you. Long story short, my Blogtober schedule differs to what I did last year (i.e. posting everyday) and most likely to a lot of other bloggers that you're following during this blogging season! The important thing however is that you are here and you are ready for my new post, so welcome back!

That Blogtober charm that I'm referring to in the title is based on that idea of stepping out of my comfort zone. Lately I have felt that so many things in my life are different right now and that is due to a new or possibly not so new way of thinking, i.e. more positively. I've found myself trying out new styles when it comes to fashion, new ways to do my hair and as you can see right here: new ways to do my makeup.

Now I know that I'm not one to shy away from glitter, dark colours, light colours or just more makeup in general but having the opportunity to use the NYX Vivid Brights Eyeliner was a challenge to say the least. If you're an avid user of liner then you will be aware of how many types there are from gel to liquid and from eyeliner pen to eyeliner pencil, it can be quite overwhelming!

So I have to admit that creating this look was not an easy feat and not because I was on the struggle bus that ALWAYS stops off at 'Your-Eyeliner-Is-A-Mess-City' but more so because working with such a bright liner like this one right here is like trying to create a masterpiece...extremely stressful with a really pretty end result! Seriously I love eyeliner and the power it has in making my eyes look super feline but when it comes to liquid liner, you have to be used to just how "liquidy" it can be and I was NOT ready.

In other words, if you're a pro at using liquid liner then this oh so beautiful product will be the right one for you, plus it comes in so many incredible shades that even I could be tempted to grab myself a couple more for those bold, eccentric looks that you see on Not Vicarious from time to time - afterall, you can never have too many options!

Now, the other key part of this look is the lips and boy do I have a new lip product that I'm loving at the moment: Maybelline Superstay Ink Crayon in Lead The Way! When these crayons first came out, you bet your bottom dollar that I was straight on Superdrug ordering myself some of my most loved shades, 'Lead The Way' being one of them. There is just something about the deep pink that screams "everyday lip product" no matter how intense the rest of your makeup is, especially on the eyes.

Maybelline always get it right with their products and although not every single thing they create will be completely my vibe, I love that they aim to conjure up something new and affordable on a regular basis. These lip crayons are perfect for those on the go days where you can only carry a small bag and can't afford to be slotting in your favourite lipliner and lipstick in addition to your other essentials. The 2-in-1 feature is a godsend and I will be using these crayons for weeks to come!

I hope that you loved this post as much as I do! Be sure to let me know in the comment section down below, if you've tried out any of these products! I'd love to know what you think of them and if you have any Autumn makeup recommendations for me in return because I adore trying new things!


Friday, 4 October 2019

Why I'll Be Using Nature To Help My Mental Health

Blogtober Day Four
Hey lovelies!

Sometimes you don't really know how much you've grown until you do things that you once found yourself doing feeling both down and trapped rather than liberated and at ease. I guess what I'm trying to say is that, with mental health, it's all about reflection. The change you wished to see and that you felt was but a distant dream is now a mere few steps closer to becoming a reality - your reality!

This time last year saw a very nervous and anxious side to my personality that was so unlike me and I often had this overwhelming need to get out, out of the house and away from all the "noise". The toxic emotions that I experienced brought me out into nature to clear my head, to have my peace and quiet and to have a place that I would spend only my time in, alone.

I remember so clearly my walks around the trails with the huge trees around me, the different coloured leaves scattered on the floor, the crisp Autumn air and the podcasts that would bring light to what was an otherwise low mood kind of day. I would always return feeling so much better!

I aim to make these walks more of a consistent thing because I found that they helped me both mentally and physically. Nature has a way of soothing the soul just by being exactly who and what it is and this is a lesson that we all need to learn.

I mean sure there are some days that I could easily spend hours on my phone but when I'm out there surrounded by nature, I don't mind turning off my Wifi/Data for an hour just so that I can disconnect and feel human for a bit.

In life we're always being pulled one way or the other, sometimes even at the same time, to the point where it can affect our mental health by creating this need or desire to constantly please others.

Being able to go back to something so simple like nature helps you to put things into perspective and that's why I want to experience more of what it has to offer by doing things like the following:

- Go on more walks (hikes/trails)
- Buy flowers for the house often
- Nurture and/or grow my own plant
- Take more photos of nature's beauty
- Spend more time outside

Do you find that nature helps you and your state of mind? If not, what does help you? Let me know in the comment section down below and get a conversation going!