Wednesday, 10 October 2018

Overloading The Pressure & Expectation

DAY TEN
Hey lovelies!

Ooooh I am feeling the pressure today. I'm not one to fully open up on the Internet because I hate the idea that once you put it out, you can't fully get it back. I do feel, however, that sometimes opening up about the things that bother you can give you a great sense of relief and, who knows, there might be somebody out there feeling or going through the same thing! So, here goes...

There is no doubt in my mind that there are always expectations attached to everything we do. We go to work and are expected to get there on time, to complete a certain amount of tasks in the day and be the life and soul of the workplace. This is all in addition to then coming home and putting pressure on ourselves to be the most organised adults that ever existed because we think it's high time we showed the world that we can do it all without help from others. The idea that we have to get dinner on the table at a certain time, to speak to our loved ones before the day is done, to look after ourselves so that we're not neglecting our own needs are just some of the things that are added onto that never-ending list titled: "Get this done or you'll feel like a failure". I feel as if nothing ever comes without its strings and maybe things aren't as simple as I wish they could be.


I graduated from university a few months ago and I think that it's safe to say that, although I enjoy being home, I am putting A LOT of pressure on myself to be something. I get told that pressure is good...but only to a certain extent because too much of it is bad for you and can be detrimental to your progress. I feel though, that there is something about putting all of that pressure on myself that makes me think that there will come a point when that great thing I dream about will happen and I will finally be able to relax and see that it was all worth it in the end, that the endless worrying and fear will go away. Am I slowly destroying myself by doing that? Probably. Is it healthy that I compare myself to loved ones and their success and in turn feel terrible about where I'm at? Oh no no no it's not healthy in any way but I can't help it.

I recently read an Instagram post by Marissa Lace that spoke about feeling as if you're enough. The concept you believe that, when you get that job, you will finally be proud of yourself and you will finally be successful is not so much a lie but something that may not be entirely achievable. Will there come a point where, even though you got what you wanted, it still doesn't feel like it's enough? Marissa talks about the fact that it is down to YOU. Everything is down to YOU. You are the one who can make you feel valuable enough, you are the one you can make you feel successful enough and you are the one who can make you feel worthy enough and until then, until you figure all of that out, you will continue to doubt your abilities and your own self-worth. I've got to admit, the thought is slightly nauseating because I think that if I don't do things right, I only have myself to blame and that just adds a whole more pressure onto me.


I'm slowly learning to deal with it. I am slowly realising and coming to terms with the idea that everybody is on their own path in life and it's not a race, even if it feels like it sometimes. Life is not happening to you, it's not this huge scary thing out to get you but it does come with its challenges and its never-ending "seriously, what more could you throw at me?!" moments. I love my life, it may not be full of career successes yet or extremely happy moments every second of every day but hey, they say that if life was always good and things were always the same, then the world would be a boring place. We need the ups and downs to treasure what we have, to value our existence and to truly appreciate every little thing that we often take for granted.

The terrible thing is, the more I type, the more this ends up sounding so depressing and I really don't want it to be because my blog is meant to help people, to inspire them and to show them that being who they are and, in some respects, where they are in life is perfect in its own way. There are some harsh realities that we have to face though. No two moments in life are going to be the same and they are definitely not going to all be smooth sailing 100% of the time but you have to make do with what you've got and who you've got and be so utterly grateful! I know that with my experience, I will learn something from the mindset that I'm in and from the trouble I am having trying to get somewhere in life. The process of learning from your mistakes is so important and shapes the person you are now and who you will become in the future.


I know I'm not alone and that's the important thing to remember! I have a gratitude list on my phone that helps to remind me of all the good in my life and so in moments of self-doubt and self-defeat, there will always be something or someone that can be there to pick me up and I love that - I've got my silver lining.

Be sure to leave me a comment down below if you've had a similar experience to mine, I would really love to chat and see what your views are on this topic. How do you deal with overcoming/handling the pressure and expectations you put on yourself?

XOXO
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