Monday 31 January 2022

Hey lovelies!

I sure haven't said that in a while and I've missed it. Happy New Year as well! I'm not sure at what point we stop saying that but I'm getting it in there now since I haven't spoken to you all in a few months.

Much like the last two years, this month has been one big blur. One minute we're celebrating Christmas and New Year's and before you know it we've reached February and we're all still just as lost and confused about what to do next!

I know that for a select few of you, you've hit the ground running and have already been hitting all sorts of goals but for me, 2022 did not start as I had expected it to in all honesty. I am definitely feeling a sense of disappointment about that because 2021 was an incredible year for me, one of my favourites actually! Clearly my high expectations had an impact on me as I thought those good vibes would carry on into this year too but so far...not so much. 

That's okay though, right? The most beautiful things don't always start off beautiful and even if they do, you can choose to see the beauty in something even if you find it hard to in the moment. The whole "everything happens for a reason" concept.

This month I really just let myself be and to avoid sounding super dramatic, I have found it to be quite a tough month mentally. I guess we all have those niggly thoughts in our minds that are easy to let in but really difficult to kick out and I'm at a loss (still) on ways that I can improve my way of thinking. Sometimes I think "I've got this!" and other times I admit defeat and go back to square one but it's a learning curve. In finding ways to improve and work on yourself, you're bound to have slip-ups and make mistakes, it's only natural.

In addition to all that, I chose to move my body at a slower pace this month and it has been essential for allowing me to feel like I'm having a break. Plus when you pair that with plenty of K-Drama watching on Netflix, you get yourself a very happy girl! I found that after a full on and very "dedicated to exercise" year in 2021 (more to come on that soon), I wanted to take some pressure off and just do what I felt like in each moment.

I stopped posting too. My socials have been relatively quiet other than a couple of random tweets on the odd day here and there or a little love on posts of creators I follow; nothing worth writing home about to be honest. I secretly kind of love it though because it goes back to that idea of removing pressure from myself. The pressure to keep up, to create, to engage, to comment, to like, to post, to story every little thing.

Truth be told, unless you get the balance right, you'll always find yourself trapped in that 24/7 social FOMO hole and it's not a healthy place to be at the best of times so I just stopped caring. I mean I did think about posting on Instagram every day for this year but even the thought left me slightly nauseated so I quickly wiped that out of my mind on January 1st and went on my break a few days later.

In January, I really did choose to indulge in the things that I love doing or had wanted to do when I thought about self care or "me time". I chose to focus on enjoying every moment (so much love if you get the BTS reference haha) and although I've had some tougher times in between, I'm starting to take note of how things make me feel and trying to take a step back to get a different perspective before choosing my next step.

It's a journey for sure but it's one that I hope you can all join me on! This is just the start of a new direction, a new focus and a new chapter in my life and as scared as I am of falling along the way, I'm excited to see where these happier changes lead me and I would love if you followed along!

Love always, Stephanie



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