My birthday was just over a week ago and as with every birthday I try to be more positive for the new year of my life. What comes with growing older though is the uncertainty of what comes next and what I should be doing at this stage of my life.
New things are happening and a new chapter of my life is starting so on my birthday I realised that personally, this new year may require an adjustment period, a few struggles maybe, simply because a lot will be changing.
Whilst it may seem like I'm not grateful for these new opportunities and this new chapter in my life, something you need to understand is that those new things require pushing myself out of my comfort zone. It also requires accepting a new reality rather than being able to hold on to what was but rather what will be from here on out.
It's scary, to me anyway.
I think your mid-twenties always come with this overarching theme of ambiguity. Whether it be relationships, careers, living situations, finances or even your own identity, your twenties feel like this crazy period of time where unless you have very specific goals and dreams, it just feels like you're floating in darkness. For me, there is no other way to put it - it's just scary.
I am very much somebody who wants to have it all figured out and as I get older, I feel worried that I don't know yet and I'm worried that I haven't accomplished anything when in actual reality...I have. I tell you, the brain is a weird thing.
In the title of this blog post I highlight "turning over a new leaf". I'm not exactly sure what that means but in making this post I wanted to put forward my intentions to take change in my stride and learn to cope with it all without it being detrimental to the things I value most.
There will be some learning curves for sure and it may not be easy all the time but I want to be happy so I'm determined to find that balance and that point where things feel more than okay.
Side note: I didn't quite realise before but writing here in my own little space, it almost feels therapeutic. I don't know if anyone even reads my posts anymore but if you do, maybe you can relate. Sometimes it gets hard trying to explain how you feel to others because often it just doesn't come out the way you were thinking it and often you find it easier just keeping it to yourself. Whatever you may feel, someone else out there has probably felt it too so don't feel weird about reaching out to someone you trust and talking through it all.
Until next time...
Love always, Stephanie
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